Ma...a new meaning added.

Becoming a mother was a lifetime transformation. Gods best gift to a woman.
My little angel Misha.She came into our lives as the warm sunrays that enter your room on a cold winter day. Isnt that a bliss? Yes it is but not as mush as this one.
Today Misha is almost 11 months old, but still how vividly i remember that day in the hospital. 10:08 am thursday morning Misha entered this world with a meaning and purpose defined by our creator, i was just the medium, yet a bond so profound that will last for all my days as a mortal.
Holding this samll bundle of warmth in my arms couldn't help but moisten my eyes with gratitude and thankfulness to god almighty.
Today she claps and walks around the house, every moment making a history. No camera or camcorder can capture this angelic miracle in wholeness but my eyes. Yes , I am the witness to her life and will be her perfect alibi.
Gusts of time will fade away her innocence day by day, how i wish i could stop it, in vain. Will my love for her ever diminish even by a miniscule amount. no!
Being a mother has dawned a wisdom upon me, of a strange kind. I couldnt have ever imagined so closely what my mother has gone through to make me what I am today. Motherhood is silent, no words can boast about its benevolence.
Ma, i always loved you and love you, but ironically my respect for you today is manifold compared to what it already was. No one can better define pain than a mother!
Until she arived, i never realised what was missing in my life. The wholeness that she provided to my world is beyond human elucidation. Thank you would be too little to express how much i thank thee god.
Misha always reminds me of your presence around us, a whole new feel of sanctity. Motherhood would feel so sacred, i hardly could imagine. I read it somewhere, Misha means gods gift and on that very moment i decided if it is a girl, she will be called Misha. Every look at her so defines her name even more distinctly. The show stopper are her cute giggles that ring like church bells, almost celestial.
Pain, is one word that brings me back to reality. Her pain is no more mine. I cannot take away that from her no matter however i shield her. She is a separate entity now and i have to embrace this fact. The sooner the better. It will be impossible i know. It makes more sense to me now when i see that Ma is still worried when we are in pain. Earlier it was easy for me to just say "don't worry ma, you have this habit of getting stressed at everything" , but now i know it is imperative. God made mothers that way. The secret ingredient is not a big secret anymore, equal portions of selflessness,forgiveness,perseverance, patience and lots of love and honey.

Each day is opening new chapters in my latest read "Motherhood and life with it"
Needless to say howmuch i am loving it and I acknowledge everyone who have made my life so worthy of living and make me strive to give my best everytime.
Ma you are my inspiration and backbone!!!

Happiness is not some Rocket Science!

Looking back, when I realize that there’s so much that’s lost in this winning race.
I feel so helpless and dismayed since I know the loss is immeasurable and the pain is myriad.
Nothing can be recovered nothing can be mended. The price has to be paid at the cost of your own bliss.
I hope not many feel this way. I know many who really do feel this way and thats sad! But at the pace that we are running today to keep up with the changing times…remember my friend its always too late by the time you realize your defeat..
Take your time, meditate...think of what’s come and gone...think about the destitute n poor...think about the rich and the richer...think of all the pain around you...think of so much love that surrounds you..Keep your eyes open to catch the first glimpse of happiness. Keep your ears open to let love whisper the chant into them..Think about the sadness to seek happiness...Think about the agony to seek comfort…think about the wars to give you peace, think about the all things small and beautiful.

Take some time out every day for a little prayer of appreciation. Appreciate even the person for his skill at cleaning your table and the guard to pull the gates for your car...Small gestures though but have ample weight.
Find the smallest reasons to be happy. Happiness isn’t an object it’s a state of mind no one else but only you can uplift yourself to that state of mind.
In our lives we find a lot to crib and grumble…we don’t miss a chance to admonish people who render their services to us for the smallest gaffe. Learn to respect and look up to every human. After all we are all the creation of the same god almighty. Just for the simple reason of some mysterious chemical reaction we are all so differently oriented. But remember the ingredients are all the same. Its only the cooking process at heavens’ kitchen that made us all different. We all live for the common goal of happiness but yet our lives are so different.
Time is a valuable thing…the only thing that once gone can’t be bought back...Make the fullest of this moment that you have...Live your life not because you were born but live as if you were born to live. Take every day as gift from the almighty...You are his wonderful creation and he takes pride in letting u open to this world. You were not just sent into his garden for the simple reason of being there...you being there is the reason for your creation…
We are in this state of affairs today for the simple reason that we maneuvered ourselves to it. Just to quote John F. Kennedy “Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.”
Wish you all a happy life Amen!

A Lot like Life

Life goes on and stops for none

I look back to see what’s come and gone

I realize it’s all been in vain, do I have a choice.

Do you think I can go back to where it all started?

Do you think I could change a few things here and there and

Make it picture perfect?

Life is what is gone and what will come

All that’s gone can never change

And that which is yet to come you cannot transform.

Mistakes are not what we anticipated

They are just the slips that were already premeditated.

We are at the mercy of time, helpless and so dismayed

Life is a wonderful journey

You find companions all along

Few stay throughout, some come and go

You have such souvenirs called Memories to keep with you

Memories of times that can never be relived

Sweet tear drops that they bring with them

Are worthier than the diamond studded band.

Life gives us a lot.

Lessons that are written in our book of Life

Bitter though at times, for the sweetener at the end.

Our experiences are build on tough grounds of our sour times

Our strengths come from the bonds that we have made so long.

A hundred reasons to shed tears, plus one for that golden smile

Life needs contentment from you, only thing

That makes this journey easier than it is

Contented you can be, if you have no complaints.

A handful we find who have seen happiness so closely.

We can join that clan if only we overcome our gluttonous desires

Life gives us a lot if only we have the eyes to see it!!

Living in Self denial

Life has always been a learning lesson for me so far. Life is your best mentor and time the best teacher. I have come across so many different kinds of people in this small journey of life and to mention the experience has not always been so great either. What I am today is the cumulative effect of days of retrospect and self judgment; I have left judging people cause as Mother Teresa had rightly said “when you judge people you have no time to love them”
Here is a strange acquaintance that I would like to share with you and remember this peculiar creation. I met this lady through a friend of mine, Liza. Liza was years older to me and her first impression was that of a very self deprived and depressed soul. I am personally attached to depressed souls, reason being unknown. My friend, who gets this credit of acquainting us, had to leave for some official engagement and after that I frequently started visiting Liza. We became friends; don’t take the literal meaning of the word, what a friend is beyond Liza’s common sense. I was also fool until then considering her to be a good human being. Believe me or not god has created such variants that each one is different in his/her own ways. A small mistake that he made was the differences are so very positive or negative, not balanced at all. I am too small to challenge the lord almighty, so I would not converse about better strategies of human creation.
Respect is the most important emotion and feeling in any relationship, be it with your parents or your friends or your boy friend. Honoring the person in front of you is the basic of ethics, no one can teach you that, you grasp it from your surroundings your upbringing. Liza was quite deprived of this lesson since childhood, so her actions were missing this first lesson of ethics.
Everything that surrounded Liza was much less than the image of perfection itself. She was living in a illusionary world, a world that she created for herself, which had people who she thought were not humans but slaves and she was the proud master of those slaves. She was a lady in her early 30’s who had a background of broken relationships, her friends sympathized with her for her past. She thought she is perfect and the best, no one could compare to her. People live in an illusion and I pity them. Liza was alone and she knew that, trying to cling on to relationships that were just an image not reality. Life for her was at her terms, human values and respect had no place in her moral dictionary. She was lost in her own wilderness. She was floating in a sea that had no shore and drowning was inevitable. Liza had some disorder, multiple personality disorder only difference in her case she knew about both the personalities.
One was the innocent lady in front of you who had cheap, cruel and selfish people all around her, who was being always used by others and the other one was the one that was hidden from the common world and needed such expertise to be seen. Liza had dressed herself up for this show called life. Her role was that of a poor deprived lady and backstage she was a selfish ungrateful and shameless girl. She made all her friends front stage only an unlucky few have access to the backstage reality. I would say rather lucky. I was one of them, but I don’t feel unlucky today, I thank god to have made her cross my life line. Liza loves sympathy; she loves when she is the star of the party and if she is not given undue importance that she claims she is not going to spare you from her vengeance. I was also one of them; Liza could never tolerate someone else but herself to get all the limelight.
First few experiences weren’t that bad because I was also playing my part front stage until then. But one day I got this peek-a-boo into her reality, thanks to Cyndi. Cyndi was a victim of this reality since the past 1 year. Cyndi was always a very practical and mature girl in my eyes. She was clear in what she wanted from life and her priorities set right. Staying together you tend to share your personal life and opinions about people with your room- mate. Cyndi had also made that mistake not knowing the real Liza. She didn’t spend a moment extra from the day she smelled her true colors, she refrained from sharing her personal life with Liza and neither did she share her actual friendship with Liza with others. Not because she wasn’t hurt or irritated but because she also had learnt the first lesson of ethics.
One fine day it happened I became the victim of Liza’s vengeance. I had tried to violate the laws. Lion is the king of the jungle and one who doesn’t honor him you know how insulted the king feels. I had challenged Liza’s authority. Someone had tried to show her the mirror. I was the one person who knew about both the Liza’s and even had the guts to tell Liza that I knew about it. I was at the risk of my life. This lady was shattered. She was used to her slaves and no one could raise their voices, she didn’t know people can have their own say also. She didn’t know people had their own voices, because her poor friends didn’t have the guts to make her come face to face with reality. The respected her, cause they had learnt the first lesson of ethics.
When you speak the truth people cannot take it and Liza couldn’t either. Her last resort was self destruction of my image in her circle of slaves and in front of me. She was unsuccessful in that too. People who have a clear conscience can never be broken Liza! They are always happy.
I always thought behind those stress lines on her forehead there is a disturbed soul, who has had a distressing past. I was highly mistaken. Those were the lines that were to misguide fools and trap her preys and later make them her slaves. I am lucky enough to have escaped and learnt my lessons. People like Liza are living legends from the clan of Ursula. I just wish Liza could come out of this illusion and her slaves can only help her out!
God be with you till we meet again.